So I've been engaged for what feels like five minutes (I know, it's actually been a month, but I still refuse to believe I need to finish planning this budget-friendly wedding in the extremely budget-unfriendly Napa Valley in the next couple of months), and it will come as no surprise at all to most of you that my anxiety levels are riding high. Not only am I in full-on panic mode about my guy's visa, and trying to keep a level head about planning this wedding spectacle from 5000 miles away, but tomorrow is my first dress trying-on day and I'm kind of freaking out.
From what I understand (from too many Say Yes to the Dress marathons), wedding sizing is different from 'normal' clothing sizing – specifically, in a move that can only be motivated to make already-stressed brides-to-be feel even more anxious, wedding gowns are apparently made two sizes smaller than normal dresses. So if you're a size 12 at Nordstrom, you'd be a 16 at Kleinfeld. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously, designers? Did you guys have a conference at which you all agreed that you hate your main (and if you're a wedding gown designer, only) clientele?? I can only imagine there must be some profit to be made from women feeling awful about themselves when they try on your clothes, because otherwise I really don't understand why in God's name you would do this to the people who buy your clothes.
The practical application of this fuckery, for a girl like me who rests on the cusp of plus-size in her everyday clothing needs, is that I am placed firmly in the 'plus' camp. Now I know I'm not supposed to care what the number on the tags in my clothes says – I'm working on that, really, but it's very hard to shake an ingrained reaction – but it's not just about that: the options for plus-size brides are significantly limited. Not only is it much harder to find a gently used or sample-sale gown that will fit (a pipe dream I'm still clinging to for dear life), but it can be difficult just to find stores that carry order-able gowns in larger sizes, much less salons that carry large enough samples for gals with hips like mine to try on.
Look, there is NO WAY anybody is getting me to spend thousands (or hundreds, for that matter) on a fancy-ass dress I haven't had a chance to try on. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my cusp status (not quite plus-sized) will mean I at least sort of fit into the samples at this shop tomorrow. But I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for the possibility that I won't, in which case my friend Tess, who is a patient and understanding saint and one of my favorite people to do anything remotely girly with, will just have to help me drown my anger/sorrow/indignation in champagne. Or whisky. Whatever.
Of course, it's entirely possible I'm working myself up about something that's not going to happen. For one thing, shops in the UK seem to go up to bigger sizes than in the States (or at least, the snooty skinny-bitch parts I frequent), so there's hope for the wedding dress salons following that trend. Also hopeful: a lot of the dresses that tomorrow's store carries are floaty on the bottom, so I only have to get my waist and boobs into them. Nonetheless, I'm definitely having waking nightmares of an assistant trying to get me into a dress and me trying not to cry when she pretends not to notice that I don't fit.
All I can say for sure is: thank God I'll have a good friend with me, who understands my issues and always knows how to cheer me up. Hopefully it won't come to that, but it's always good to have a backup plan.
From what I understand (from too many Say Yes to the Dress marathons), wedding sizing is different from 'normal' clothing sizing – specifically, in a move that can only be motivated to make already-stressed brides-to-be feel even more anxious, wedding gowns are apparently made two sizes smaller than normal dresses. So if you're a size 12 at Nordstrom, you'd be a 16 at Kleinfeld. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously, designers? Did you guys have a conference at which you all agreed that you hate your main (and if you're a wedding gown designer, only) clientele?? I can only imagine there must be some profit to be made from women feeling awful about themselves when they try on your clothes, because otherwise I really don't understand why in God's name you would do this to the people who buy your clothes.
The practical application of this fuckery, for a girl like me who rests on the cusp of plus-size in her everyday clothing needs, is that I am placed firmly in the 'plus' camp. Now I know I'm not supposed to care what the number on the tags in my clothes says – I'm working on that, really, but it's very hard to shake an ingrained reaction – but it's not just about that: the options for plus-size brides are significantly limited. Not only is it much harder to find a gently used or sample-sale gown that will fit (a pipe dream I'm still clinging to for dear life), but it can be difficult just to find stores that carry order-able gowns in larger sizes, much less salons that carry large enough samples for gals with hips like mine to try on.
Look, there is NO WAY anybody is getting me to spend thousands (or hundreds, for that matter) on a fancy-ass dress I haven't had a chance to try on. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my cusp status (not quite plus-sized) will mean I at least sort of fit into the samples at this shop tomorrow. But I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for the possibility that I won't, in which case my friend Tess, who is a patient and understanding saint and one of my favorite people to do anything remotely girly with, will just have to help me drown my anger/sorrow/indignation in champagne. Or whisky. Whatever.
Of course, it's entirely possible I'm working myself up about something that's not going to happen. For one thing, shops in the UK seem to go up to bigger sizes than in the States (or at least, the snooty skinny-bitch parts I frequent), so there's hope for the wedding dress salons following that trend. Also hopeful: a lot of the dresses that tomorrow's store carries are floaty on the bottom, so I only have to get my waist and boobs into them. Nonetheless, I'm definitely having waking nightmares of an assistant trying to get me into a dress and me trying not to cry when she pretends not to notice that I don't fit.
All I can say for sure is: thank God I'll have a good friend with me, who understands my issues and always knows how to cheer me up. Hopefully it won't come to that, but it's always good to have a backup plan.
Comments
For a long time that post had been a work in progress just sitting there (I have a phobia of saying things and not doing them) so in all honesty, I wasn't ready to change my mind-set on my body. After reading your article and how far you have come I sought out your blog and read through your posts! Congrats on the engagement by the way, my Mums getting married next Friday! Exciting stuff!
Thank you Anne for giving me the motivation I think I needed.
-Emma Parker
I loved your post! I feel the same exact way about my lifestyle – I beat myself up for not doing 2 hours of cardio a day and then I get depressed and end up lethargic and angry. These days my compromise is doing leg lifts and squats while I brush my teeth with my timed electronic toothbrush at night, which looks very silly but makes me feel like I'm at least doing SOMETHING.
Anyway I'm so pleased you liked the article and thanks so much for taking the time to comment on my lonely little blog. And congrats to your mum! I hope she has a lovely wedding and a lovelier marriage.
Cheers,
Anne x