If you follow me on Twitter, you'll already know how obsessed I've been recently with a show called Say Yes to the Dress, which is a reality show that follows brides-to-be who are looking for the perfect dress at Kleinfeld's bridal salon in NYC. I got into the show when I was living with my parents in San Francisco a few years ago, and spending a lot of my free time Tivo-ing reruns of What Not to Wear and other TLC shows (like I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant – NOT recommended for anyone even slightly suggestible). I'm already a bit dress-obsessed, in general, and I have a weakness for reality TV (the NYTimes says that's okay!), so one episode was all it took to hook me. I love seeing the different styles of dresses, comparing how they look on different body types, gasping at the incredibly poor taste some brides have and the stunning dresses others choose. I love tearing up when the dads start to cry and yelling at the entourages when they opine too strongly despite the way the bride clearly feels and clapping and grinning when super-gay, super-adorable stylist Randy finds a girl the perfect dress – I just adore it all.
And I've missed it, since moving back here to the land of copyright issues. It's hard to find my favorite shows online (it's impossible to find them legally), and anyway I've always been a bit squeamish about illegal uploads (classic goody two shoes, always thinking I'll be the one to get caught). So I've just done without. I had a book to work on in my free time, anyway, and I had enough trouble catching up on Come Dine With Me and my other fave UK reality shows.
But then I finished my big edit, and sent the MS to my editor, and... didn't have much to do. I mean, there's plenty to be done (visa stuff, job hunting, and always dishes and laundry), but I also found myself with a lot of free time on my hands and very little entertainment. So I bit the bullet – I bought two seasons of Say Yes on iTunes (let's not talk about how much that cost, okay?), and I devoured them in a week (hey, they're short!). And then, because I was panicking a bit about running out, I bought another season, of a spinoff series called Big Bliss.
Yup, it's about plus-sized brides. And I was wary, I must admit. I hate the title (it's kind of rude and condescending and I just dislike the use of the word 'big' because it makes me think of mountains in wedding dresses), and I agree with my friend Rachel that they shouldn't have their own spinoff at all (her exact words were: "why do they need their own show? They're people too!" Word, Rachel, word). But I loved the idea of seeing women in wedding dresses who, even if they didn't represent me, represented something I still relate to, and (this is important) something other than the 'ideal image' of a woman.
And guess what? I LOVE IT. I love the dresses and the bickering and the taste levels and all the same things I love about the original series, but I also think it's probably the first show I've ever seen about 'plus sized' women that treats them like normal people. The stylists don't seem to care at all that they're putting women into size 28 dresses (sometimes those women are size 30, and the stylists just rubber-band those motherfuckers and ask the girls what they think of the dress without blinking) – they just want their clients to feel beautiful. There's no judgement on whether or not that woman is beautiful in any sort of 'objective', society-approved way. These women have fiancés who love them, who obviously think they're gorgeous, and they deserve dresses that make them feel gorgeous.
The interesting thing is that almost all of them, even the most outwardly confident 'volumptuous' women, arrive in the salon nervous about what they'll find. They're scared they'll look like sausages, or that people will think they look 'undignified', or just that nothing will fit at all. And the stylists handle these fragile women with just enough grace and sensitivity to make them feel at ease, without calling attention to the fact that they're fragile (in fairness, many brides, of all sizes, are fragile about how they look). Randy is especially caring, in a completely genuine way, and I just want to squeeze him and send him roses and chocolate and thank him for making these girls feel like not only are they beautiful, but they deserve to feel beautiful. I love it.
It's not just the stylists, either. One of my problems with Biggest Loser was always the camera work – slow motion clips of heavy people running, their faces red and sweaty, their bellies bouncing. IT pisses me off. It's voyeuristic and exploitative and offensive. And Say Yes doesn't do it. They don't hide the brides' bodies (not even when they're not in dresses), but they don't focus on things like back rolls or red faces (and you know they're there, after all that getting in and out of tight dresses). They focus on the dresses, the detailing and the shapes and the flattering/unflattering aspects of them. And, most importantly, they focus on the faces – the frowns, the tears, and the eventual YES glow.
So if you're looking for a reality show that feels truly real, without exploiting people or subtly mocking them or patronizing them, I highly recommend Say Yes to the Dress, Big Bliss. Heck, I recommend the skinny version too (lord knows there are plenty of body image issues there as well), but if you're specifically in the market for something to make you feel like the world isn't such a judgmental crapfest after all, then Big Bliss is where it's at.
Now if only they would show the brides' sizes / measurements so I'd know where I stand, my life would be complete...
And I've missed it, since moving back here to the land of copyright issues. It's hard to find my favorite shows online (it's impossible to find them legally), and anyway I've always been a bit squeamish about illegal uploads (classic goody two shoes, always thinking I'll be the one to get caught). So I've just done without. I had a book to work on in my free time, anyway, and I had enough trouble catching up on Come Dine With Me and my other fave UK reality shows.
But then I finished my big edit, and sent the MS to my editor, and... didn't have much to do. I mean, there's plenty to be done (visa stuff, job hunting, and always dishes and laundry), but I also found myself with a lot of free time on my hands and very little entertainment. So I bit the bullet – I bought two seasons of Say Yes on iTunes (let's not talk about how much that cost, okay?), and I devoured them in a week (hey, they're short!). And then, because I was panicking a bit about running out, I bought another season, of a spinoff series called Big Bliss.
Yup, it's about plus-sized brides. And I was wary, I must admit. I hate the title (it's kind of rude and condescending and I just dislike the use of the word 'big' because it makes me think of mountains in wedding dresses), and I agree with my friend Rachel that they shouldn't have their own spinoff at all (her exact words were: "why do they need their own show? They're people too!" Word, Rachel, word). But I loved the idea of seeing women in wedding dresses who, even if they didn't represent me, represented something I still relate to, and (this is important) something other than the 'ideal image' of a woman.
And guess what? I LOVE IT. I love the dresses and the bickering and the taste levels and all the same things I love about the original series, but I also think it's probably the first show I've ever seen about 'plus sized' women that treats them like normal people. The stylists don't seem to care at all that they're putting women into size 28 dresses (sometimes those women are size 30, and the stylists just rubber-band those motherfuckers and ask the girls what they think of the dress without blinking) – they just want their clients to feel beautiful. There's no judgement on whether or not that woman is beautiful in any sort of 'objective', society-approved way. These women have fiancés who love them, who obviously think they're gorgeous, and they deserve dresses that make them feel gorgeous.
The interesting thing is that almost all of them, even the most outwardly confident 'volumptuous' women, arrive in the salon nervous about what they'll find. They're scared they'll look like sausages, or that people will think they look 'undignified', or just that nothing will fit at all. And the stylists handle these fragile women with just enough grace and sensitivity to make them feel at ease, without calling attention to the fact that they're fragile (in fairness, many brides, of all sizes, are fragile about how they look). Randy is especially caring, in a completely genuine way, and I just want to squeeze him and send him roses and chocolate and thank him for making these girls feel like not only are they beautiful, but they deserve to feel beautiful. I love it.
It's not just the stylists, either. One of my problems with Biggest Loser was always the camera work – slow motion clips of heavy people running, their faces red and sweaty, their bellies bouncing. IT pisses me off. It's voyeuristic and exploitative and offensive. And Say Yes doesn't do it. They don't hide the brides' bodies (not even when they're not in dresses), but they don't focus on things like back rolls or red faces (and you know they're there, after all that getting in and out of tight dresses). They focus on the dresses, the detailing and the shapes and the flattering/unflattering aspects of them. And, most importantly, they focus on the faces – the frowns, the tears, and the eventual YES glow.
So if you're looking for a reality show that feels truly real, without exploiting people or subtly mocking them or patronizing them, I highly recommend Say Yes to the Dress, Big Bliss. Heck, I recommend the skinny version too (lord knows there are plenty of body image issues there as well), but if you're specifically in the market for something to make you feel like the world isn't such a judgmental crapfest after all, then Big Bliss is where it's at.
Now if only they would show the brides' sizes / measurements so I'd know where I stand, my life would be complete...
Comments