I woke up this morning and checked my twitter account (yes, I know), and one of the first things I saw was a link to this post by a writer named Amy Alkon (I'll let you read it instead of summarizing). Amy writes with wild abandon about all the people who annoy her in life, and usually I appreciate her no-holds-barred approach. But this time, I felt she went too far. Not because she's being cruel to a fat person, but because she's being cruel unnecessarily. And, more importantly, unfunnily. And it's not just her; the commenters on the post have their fangs out too.
And I don't get it. I mean, I get it: this chick gained 40 lbs and her boyfriend doesn't sleep with her anymore, so obviously she needs to lose weight (or lose the guy, which nobody seemed to think was an option for this obviously morbidly obese woman). What I don't get is the poison. Why do people have so much hatred in their hearts for fat people? What is it about fatties that offends them so? I mean, besides their visible girth, but if this girl put on 40 pounds, unless she's 5'2" that's not going to make her a whale. Just chunky.
The venom with which people discuss fat never ceases to startle the shit out of me. Would you talk that way about somebody with a different color of skin, or a cleft palate? Ok, ok, those things aren't "your own fault." Then would you speak with such acrimony about a woman who cultivates her hairy chin instead of shaving it? Or a man who chooses to walk around starkers despite having a teeny weenie? Oh, I know, you'd laugh and point (wouldn't we all?), but would you hate them for existing?
In the 4 years I've been with my bf, I've fluctuated about 20 pounds. Up, down, sideways. I haven't gotten so big or small as to need a total wardrobe change, but I have had to buy a new pair of jeans (and wear them for 5 minutes before the weight fell off and my 60 bucks was wasted). And my bf has always wanted to have sex with me, often much to my busy chagrin! Again, I'm not saying this chick's bf isn't entitled to his sexual taste, but he damn well should man up and let her know if he's no longer attracted to her. It can't just be assumed that weight gain will put your partner off (I can show you the erection to prove it).
Some women spend years in a relationship watching what they eat for the sake of their man, rather than their own personal pride or health, only to get married and 'let themselves go.' Isn't it better to find out early on if weight gain is a dealbreaker? I mean, some of us are probably going to gain some weight after having kids and need a GB update (I'm seriously terrified of this)!
Ok, now I'm getting a bit off track. Bear with me; I haven't had my tea yet. Really I'm just wondering if someone can tell me why thin people hate fat people so much? I mean, don't fat people do enough hating themselves? The job is overdone, people! Go home!
And I don't get it. I mean, I get it: this chick gained 40 lbs and her boyfriend doesn't sleep with her anymore, so obviously she needs to lose weight (or lose the guy, which nobody seemed to think was an option for this obviously morbidly obese woman). What I don't get is the poison. Why do people have so much hatred in their hearts for fat people? What is it about fatties that offends them so? I mean, besides their visible girth, but if this girl put on 40 pounds, unless she's 5'2" that's not going to make her a whale. Just chunky.
The venom with which people discuss fat never ceases to startle the shit out of me. Would you talk that way about somebody with a different color of skin, or a cleft palate? Ok, ok, those things aren't "your own fault." Then would you speak with such acrimony about a woman who cultivates her hairy chin instead of shaving it? Or a man who chooses to walk around starkers despite having a teeny weenie? Oh, I know, you'd laugh and point (wouldn't we all?), but would you hate them for existing?
In the 4 years I've been with my bf, I've fluctuated about 20 pounds. Up, down, sideways. I haven't gotten so big or small as to need a total wardrobe change, but I have had to buy a new pair of jeans (and wear them for 5 minutes before the weight fell off and my 60 bucks was wasted). And my bf has always wanted to have sex with me, often much to my busy chagrin! Again, I'm not saying this chick's bf isn't entitled to his sexual taste, but he damn well should man up and let her know if he's no longer attracted to her. It can't just be assumed that weight gain will put your partner off (I can show you the erection to prove it).
Some women spend years in a relationship watching what they eat for the sake of their man, rather than their own personal pride or health, only to get married and 'let themselves go.' Isn't it better to find out early on if weight gain is a dealbreaker? I mean, some of us are probably going to gain some weight after having kids and need a GB update (I'm seriously terrified of this)!
Ok, now I'm getting a bit off track. Bear with me; I haven't had my tea yet. Really I'm just wondering if someone can tell me why thin people hate fat people so much? I mean, don't fat people do enough hating themselves? The job is overdone, people! Go home!
Comments
First, it is unnecessarily derogatory. Good advice can be effective without the need to patronize and demean the recipient; to do so is to misunderstand shock value and to reveal that there is little to your words other than violence. Perhaps she thinks the offense is necessary for notice, being a syndicated columnist, but in truth that is quite a banal way of writing; I believe it takes more wit to sting without showing your hand up front.
Second, I find it amusing that she maligns certain 'scientific' discourses for lacking an evidential basis in a column comprised almost entirely of pure conjecture without any foundation of substance. It's one thing to give advice which acknowledges the inherent subjectivity in one's viewpoint, it's quite another to proclaim one's advice as gospel when it is so obviously personal. Further to that, what leads Amy to believe in the utility of her shallow tough love? I see no evidence of substantial scientific, psychological, psychiatric or other rigorous epistemological training in her biography, only a pot, a kettle, and rather too much black paint. It appears the necessity of courting and sustaining her supportive audience of vacuous knuckle-draggers has left her writing devoid of any serious journalism.
Third, if we move beyond the droll humor (those are some hideous puns), there appears to be little constructive advice, only a need to demean. She criminalizes her client without offering any good behavior. That's not advice, it's diatribe.
So if we look at that column in sum and realize it for what it is - an unwanted vendetta devoid of any real intelligence or real advice - I can only conclude that empty barrels make the most sound.
And it's an easy one. As you've written before, fat is among the few things that you can openly hate on. You can't exclaim about how lazy poor people are (for an example - I don't think that) but you can openly state how superior you are to a fat person without fear of ridicule.
I think you're totally spot-on about the fear. I guess it's kind of like the worst, most vile homophobes being a touch attracted to their own genders. But I also think you're right that it's just straight-up ALLOWED. And that's pretty fucked up, I think. But then again, what do I know? I'm just a woman who's (more than) 40 pounds overweight. Really I should lose some weight and stop complaining about people treating me badly. God, what a self-centered bitch I've been.