For a couple of years now, I’ve been a big fan of the TV show What Not To Wear. I find Clinton adorable and Stacy just mean enough, and I almost always agree with their style choices (I seriously spend half the show trying to figure out where Stacy gets her dresses and shoes!). And I was hooked for life when I realized that they’re not at all sizeist; they don’t even take sizes into account, almost like they’re wearing blinders to the number on the tag (fabric and fit take precedence).
I think the moment I realized that my affection for Stacy and Clinton wasn’t just about the dresses (but OH the dresses!) was during an old episode with a woman named Kandis, who was more than usually obsessed with her size. Within the first few hours of their tutorial, Stacy lost her patience with Kandis’s self-deprecation, and she said something that I thought was so interesting, I actually wrote it down verbatim (really, thank god for Tivo):
“You know what worries me? You are only talking about this clothing in terms of whether or not you are going to look thinner. Think about what you want your style to say about you, not whether or not your body is right, cause your body is perfect.”
Predictably, this was followed by an eye roll from Kandis, but I thought it was so genuine and lovely and on point. And since that episode, I’ve wished so badly that I could go on the show. But, unfortunately (?), I don’t think my sense of style is bad enough. Not that I’m as chic as Stacy, but I have a pretty good idea of what fits my body (wonky though it can be) and I don’t go overboard on the sluttery or the man-pants, so I fear I’m out of the running.
Anyway, the new season began tonight, and what’d ya know? Episode 1 focuses on Courtney, a 29 yr old who's lost 170 lbs through Gastric Bypass! She talks a lot about having 2 bodies (small top, big bottom-– where have I heard that before?) about how she still sees herself as fat most of the time, and then when she does see her small body she goes for clothes that are too skimpy.
Now, there are things I don’t relate to about Courtney. She views her weight loss as an accomplishment, while I constantly diminish mine as not really my doing. Also, she’s lost 70 pounds more than I have, and whenever I hear about a GB-er who’s lost more than I have (most of them) I feel shamed, like I only got a C when the rest of the class got B’s and above. BUT it was a fascinating episode nonetheless.
It was weird to see someone else who went through the surgery (and some subsequent cosmetic surgeries, although they didn’t go into detail) and came out confused about what she looks like and who she is. In the magazine spreads they seem to focus just on the positive aspects of weight loss (SO not what I do here, obviously), and this episode really highlighted the aftermath of feeling torn between two bodies, the old and the new. Courtney also talks about shopping, how frustrating it was when she was heavier and how extra-frustrating it is now to feel like all the work she did losing the weight was for nothing, because she still can't find clothes.
Again, Stacy tries to break through the psychosis of fat with words, constantly hammering in the point that clothes need to be tailored to fit perfectly, and that nobody fits into things right off the rack (besides my adorable friend Brittany). Towards the end of the episode, she turns to Courtney and says: “your body isn't the problem,” to which Courtney immediately responded: “my body IS the problem.”
Which is exactly what I would say, even now, even after watching all these shows and reading all those inspirational stories and crap. But if Courtney feels like one week with Stacy and Clinton helped her have a breakthrough in her relationship with her body (which, apparently, she does), then maybe a few more years of watching other people’s retail therapy will help me too. If only by proxy.
I think the moment I realized that my affection for Stacy and Clinton wasn’t just about the dresses (but OH the dresses!) was during an old episode with a woman named Kandis, who was more than usually obsessed with her size. Within the first few hours of their tutorial, Stacy lost her patience with Kandis’s self-deprecation, and she said something that I thought was so interesting, I actually wrote it down verbatim (really, thank god for Tivo):
“You know what worries me? You are only talking about this clothing in terms of whether or not you are going to look thinner. Think about what you want your style to say about you, not whether or not your body is right, cause your body is perfect.”
Predictably, this was followed by an eye roll from Kandis, but I thought it was so genuine and lovely and on point. And since that episode, I’ve wished so badly that I could go on the show. But, unfortunately (?), I don’t think my sense of style is bad enough. Not that I’m as chic as Stacy, but I have a pretty good idea of what fits my body (wonky though it can be) and I don’t go overboard on the sluttery or the man-pants, so I fear I’m out of the running.
Anyway, the new season began tonight, and what’d ya know? Episode 1 focuses on Courtney, a 29 yr old who's lost 170 lbs through Gastric Bypass! She talks a lot about having 2 bodies (small top, big bottom-– where have I heard that before?) about how she still sees herself as fat most of the time, and then when she does see her small body she goes for clothes that are too skimpy.
Now, there are things I don’t relate to about Courtney. She views her weight loss as an accomplishment, while I constantly diminish mine as not really my doing. Also, she’s lost 70 pounds more than I have, and whenever I hear about a GB-er who’s lost more than I have (most of them) I feel shamed, like I only got a C when the rest of the class got B’s and above. BUT it was a fascinating episode nonetheless.
It was weird to see someone else who went through the surgery (and some subsequent cosmetic surgeries, although they didn’t go into detail) and came out confused about what she looks like and who she is. In the magazine spreads they seem to focus just on the positive aspects of weight loss (SO not what I do here, obviously), and this episode really highlighted the aftermath of feeling torn between two bodies, the old and the new. Courtney also talks about shopping, how frustrating it was when she was heavier and how extra-frustrating it is now to feel like all the work she did losing the weight was for nothing, because she still can't find clothes.
Again, Stacy tries to break through the psychosis of fat with words, constantly hammering in the point that clothes need to be tailored to fit perfectly, and that nobody fits into things right off the rack (besides my adorable friend Brittany). Towards the end of the episode, she turns to Courtney and says: “your body isn't the problem,” to which Courtney immediately responded: “my body IS the problem.”
Which is exactly what I would say, even now, even after watching all these shows and reading all those inspirational stories and crap. But if Courtney feels like one week with Stacy and Clinton helped her have a breakthrough in her relationship with her body (which, apparently, she does), then maybe a few more years of watching other people’s retail therapy will help me too. If only by proxy.
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