Skip to main content

36-24-36? Haha, maybe if I were 5'3"

Oh my god I am SO pathetic. I think I might be in worse shape than I was when I was heavy. Four minutes into my first attempt at what is admittedly a tough workout video (but not this tough) my arms felt like they were going to fall off. Another ten minutes and we were into squats. Well, they were. I was “marching it out” because my thighs were having seizures as a result of the few squats I managed. Luckily they recovered for plie time, but still! I have no idea how this happened. Probably the car my parents gave me for my 22nd bday, mixed with moving to the flat land of London. Yeah, I’m thinking that’s the combo. When I’m here I walk all the time, but it’s flat. When I’m home in SF it’s hilly and I try to walk a good bit but it’s nothing compared to when I used to have to take the bus/ walk everywhere. Gah! Anyway, day one is over, and although I dread the pain of tomorrow I’m also looking forward to feeling buff again. Stupid maintenance-requiring muscles.
In case I haven’t mentioned it before, I’m back in London. And flabby. My time at home was wonderful, filled with friends and family and sunshine. And cookies. And Easter candy. And oh so good and buttery foodstuffs. Not that I gained any weight (because my body doesn’t work in such normal ways), but I did get, shall we say, softer. Only I don’t mean my wit or my sense of humor or human decency. I mean the paunch.
Oh, and of course, last night I got home from two wonderful nights in Paris. The boyfriend took me to celebrate our 2 year anniversary (gah!), and the trip was filled with joy and cuddles and walking and coffee and people-watching goodness. And bread. And 85% fat butter (oh god orgasmic). And chocolat chaud. And froid. Oh, and did I mention all the skinny women? Do I even need to mention them? Stupid skinny women. Like I didn’t feel fat enough.
So there you have it. My first entry into the hell-log. I'll try to only keep you posted when I have something remotely interesting to say.
Right now my head is swimming from 30 minutes of cardio. Seriously. Pathetic.
PS I noted three things while doing the lying-down portion of my workout:
1. we might need a legit vacuum to supplement our less than perfectly effective swivel sweeper. I’ll be looking into dustbusters as soon as I’ve regained lung function.
2. hardwood sticks to imperfectly (read: not) toned backs. I need a mat.
3. my arm muscles seem to have atrophied. It seems having a boyfriend to carry things for you has a downside…
PPS could I BE more pear-shaped? I am so NOT going to post my measurements here but let it be known that my hips are almost 10 inches bigger than my chest! Oh, the agony.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do fat women have it worse than fat men?

I've always said that being fat is harder on women than it is on men.  Not only is there a lot more societal pressure to be stick thin rather than just healthy, which men don't seem to get, but it's a lot harder to be seen as physically attractive if you're even ten or fifteen pounds overweight. Anyway, it seems I'm not the only one thinking these things.  There's an article in the NYTimes today about overweight and obese women doing worse than men financially, an interesting angle on the effects of obesity, and in it they say: Why doesn’t body size affect men’s attainment as much as women’s? One explanation is that overweight girls are more stigmatized and isolated in high school compared with overweight boys. Other studies have shown that body size is one of the primary ways Americans judge female — but not male — attractiveness. We also know that the social stigma associated with obesity is strongest during adolescence. So perhaps teachers and pee

Hitting bottom.

“Well, maybe that’s not such a bad thing,” my mother says when I tell her I can’t eat and I’m losing weight as a result of my most recent heartbreak, “maybe when all this is over you’ll look in the mirror and –” I have just enough strength left in me to stop her before she completely echoes the voice in the back of my head, the one that’s been telling me that not eating for days, while it might fuck up my metabolism in the long run, might also make me more attractive to potential new men in the short term. But I don’t want to be attractive to new men – never mind the nagging fear that it's impossible.   I just want my man to come back and erase everything he’s done to me in the past nine months.   I want to wake up tomorrow and have this all be a bad dream – the cheating, the lies, the images in my mind of him holding that conniving, revolting, vile girl in our bed, the searing pain in my heart that keeps me awake nights – and I want to roll over and playf

Can technology help me Lose It, or will I get lost in the numbers?

A few weeks ago I downloaded a new app for my iPhone called Lose It. It’s a calorie counter, but it also incorporates exercise, and the best part is that it’s pretty non-judgmental, as these things go. It lets you choose your own goal, and how fast you want to lost the weight, and then it just calculates the numbers for you. For example, I told it my current weight (I don’t want to talk about it) and that I wanted to lose thirty pounds (yes, hopelessly idealistic) in six months (hey, you gotta have some realism). And it told me my calorie allowance was roughly 2,100 per day. Way higher than I expected! Which is the other thing about this app: it makes me feel good about my eating habits! I have it tracking my nutrients as well, and besides the fact that I eat about twice as much sodium as I’m supposed to (yeah, yeah, whatever. Salt is gooooood), I’m pretty on-target with everything else. And I’ve been coming in under my calorie count pretty much every day. Even Easter! And I