Well, I promised you an update, but don’t come crying to me if it bores you. I have this dress. It’s adorable. I love it to pieces, not least because it has huge pockets and cost 8 pounds (Primark). But there’s a problem with the dress. Well, not with the dress; it’s with me. This dress, like so many of my favorite/hated dresses, is strapless. Now, putting aside for the moment the difficulty of finding a good, comfortable strapless bra, the issue is this: I have wings. Not just wings, but striped wings. Did anybody watch The Real World, Hollywood? If so, did you notice Joey’s fatty stretch marks? That’s what happens when you work out too much or you allow a tiny parasite to invade your uterus: you get silvery lines of ‘oh god WHY’ messages from your skin. Incidentally, it’s also what happens when you gain a ton of weight. And when you lose it, you keep the lines, as a sort of ‘fuck you’ lack of forgiveness from the body’s largest organ. Me, I have these things all over. Actu
Life after Gastric Bypass surgery